Hello world, this is Lev (Chicken’s co-conspirator and, suddenly, campaign manager). I have some incredible news to share.

You, the great collective you of the Chickensphere, heeded our plea for help. We’ve spent the last 24 hours hitting up everybody we know, watching the total inch toward the magic number and wracking our brains about who to call next and how to make it happen. Alita, Goddess of the Spreadsheet, worked like a Hero of Soviet Socialist Labor to get all the scraps of paper, checks, Paypal contributions and loose change together. And in the 59th minute of the 11th hour, you came through and brought us over the top, to a grand total of $26,371.21 in eligible San Francisco contributions for Chicken’s race for mayor. That’s the documented sum of money that we brought to the Campaign Office at 4:45 this afternoon…. you should have seen us, racing down Van Ness in the limo VW bus, folders crammed with arcane documents and forms, sweating, exhausted, Rob Levy driving like a maniacal cabby to get us there on time. We scrambled up the steps into the warren of offices… and met the press! Reporters from the San Francisco dailies were there, waiting for us like it’s the Bay to Breakers finish line. Read it in the news tomorrow, baby. As far as we know, only Tony Hall also made the cut, but he’s Republican or Republican-like… so in reality, it’s Chicken vs. Gavin on November 6 !

So we’re in, and all of a sudden its for reals. The papers are filed, Chicken is on an airplane to the Playa and we’ve got ourselves a mayors race.

Thank you so so so much to everyone who came out of the woodwork in the last few days, as well as all the supporters who carried us up along the way. We are deeply awed by the trust that you’ve given us to run this race. This has gone from whim to performance to drama to triumph, and it literally is all because of you. You’ve put your hard-earned ducats into the hands of Chicken John, and I hereby vow that I’m not gonna let him squander it on top shelf figs and imported liquor or whatever it was he promised to do with it. In the coming weeks, we’ll be putting our secret plan into action. As they say, watch this space.

Signing off,

One Happy Chicken
One Happy Chicken
15 Minutes Left, and the Elevator is Soooooo Slow
15 Minutes Left and the Elevator is Soooooo Slow
Aleta, Goddess of the Spreadsheet
Alita, Goddess of the Spreadsheet


5 Responses to “F$@#IN A! YOU DID IT!”

  1. 1 Tex

    wE’VE GOT SOME TINGS’ up our sleeve for ya’ Chicken…
    I keep thinking of the Eddie Murphy Harold Washington scenario from his 80’s standup:
    “He fucking won?”
    Go to Burnin’ Man, get back here and let’s have us a race, we got your back!

  2. 2 missyb


    Fucking hell! That’s awesome! I’m going to your site right now to volunteer.

    So stoked!!

  3. 3 Brendan Overboy

    That’s so great! With slashed public healthcare, housing and services budgets in the city this year, and huge cutbacks in city programs for the needy because there’s not enough money to go around, you all helped Chicken take $25,000 more funds from the city for his campaign! Great!

  4. 4 David Saradin

    “Alita”, not “Aleta”

  1. 1 Chicken John Meets Goal For Election Matching Funds | Laughing Squid

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